Lost in Motherhood? You're not broken

There’s a moment many mothers don’t talk about. The one where you look in the mirror and don’t quite recognise yourself. The one where your days blur into feeding, nap times, and endless to-do lists. Where the things that once made you you—your passions, your ambitions, your spontaneity—feel like distant memories. 

In amongst all the excitement of pregnancy and the anticipation of entering into parenthood, you never really consider the monumental shift your life will take. Many even walk around with their bump declaring “this won’t change us- the baby will have to fit into our life”. 

Fast forward to the next few years and you find yourself in the midst of a daily survival, possibly more babies and less time and brain cells to excel in anything outside of motherhood. 

You may find yourself surrounded by more people than ever in the shape of new ‘mum friends’, but at the same time feel the loneliest you have ever been. Feeling really confused at seemingly to have it all but also feeling so lost and empty. There may also be that moment where you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror  and don't quite recognise who you see.

One of the first things you should know—so you don’t waste time overthinking—is that motherhood is full of contradictions. It is both overwhelming and beautiful, exhausting and rewarding, isolating and deeply connecting. The certainty in all of this? The emotional back-and-forth is a natural, ongoing part of the journey.

Maybe no one told you that motherhood would feel like a kind of loss. That in the process of becoming everything to everyone else, you might feel like you’ve become nothing to yourself.

But here’s what I need you to know: You are not lost. You are in transition.

The feeling can often be that ‘I’ve lost myself, I need to get ‘me’ back” but what if you’re not meant to go back? What if the woman you’re becoming—through the exhaustion, the sacrifice, and the deep, overwhelming love—is actually a stronger, wiser, and more powerful version of yourself?

You haven’t lost yourself. You’re shedding an old skin. And while that process is uncomfortable, it’s also necessary. Just as one of my favourite  states ‘The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. The ‘you’ that existed before motherhood was never meant to be the final version.

Instead of asking, “How do I get back to who I was?” ask yourself, “Who am I becoming?”

Maybe you used to define yourself by your job, your social life, or your creative outlets. And now, you define yourself by the way your child reaches for you in the middle of the night, the patience you’ve learned on hard days, or the resilience you’ve built through every challenge.

But that doesn’t mean you have to give up the other parts of you. You’re allowed to exist outside of motherhood. You’re allowed to dream, to build, to create, to want more. And maybe now, after all you’ve been through, you’re even better equipped to do it.

Rediscovering yourself doesn’t mean going back; it means moving forward. 

Reclaiming yourself 

My top tips are 

• Giving yourself permission to matter—outside of what you do for others.

• Exploring what excites you now—not just what used to.

• Taking up space in your own life—without guilt.

• Recognizing your growth—and stepping into it fully.

As we women we exist in seasons, from the moment we have our first period and enter womanhood. This season of your life isn’t about loss. It’s about transformation. And when you look back, you’ll see that you weren’t disappearing—you were evolving.

So no, you’re not broken. You’re becoming. And that is something truly beautiful.

Are you ready to rediscover the next version of you?